You just made me feel so damn special
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
