1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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