Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
