Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Michael Bay diarrhea
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
