apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize