i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
