Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
