My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
