I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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