You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
