You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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