i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
