Your mouth is God's brothel.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
