then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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