How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
