I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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