Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
