Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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