I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
