i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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