I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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