i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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