i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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