their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
