i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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