i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
try to milk me bitch
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