i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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