if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
