she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
