why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
