Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
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