She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
