didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
