My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Success! We fucked roommates!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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