Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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