I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
