when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
