is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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