this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
