i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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