: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
