Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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