every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Girls should come with a carfax report
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
