I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
