Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
