i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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