Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
