Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize