I'm lost and stupid without you.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
This show inspires me to have sex in space
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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