batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Two words: blizzard sex
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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