So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
