Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
