White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
