my vag is so smooth its legendary
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
