did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
