he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
