There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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