I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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